


Wake Up Call

by impatientseamstress



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: F/M, Roxanne is entirely justified in her use of sarcasm, Rude - Freeform, Who calls someone at 3AM?, for interrupting her...evening activities
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-20
Updated: 2021-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-28 23:21:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30147171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impatientseamstress/pseuds/impatientseamstress
Summary: Its prison policy to alert relevant parties every time Megamind escapes, even at three AM. Roxanne does not appreciate the disruption.
Relationships: Megamind/Roxanne Ritchi
Comments: 24
Kudos: 79





	Wake Up Call

The low buzz of a vibrating phone broke the heavy darkness and Roxanne's hand groped clumsily for the screen, "What?" She asked roughly.

"Good evening Ma'am," An officious voice greeted her apologetically, "I'm sorry to call you so late but I'm afraid its urgent."

"Who is this?"

"Officer Thompson, Metro City PD. Calling to inform you there's been an escape at the prison."

"Are you asking me to report on it?"

"It was Megamind, ma'am"

Roxanne took the phone away from her ear to mouth a soundless obscenity at the ceiling, "And you had to tell me now?"

"Ma'am its prison policy to inform you as soon as-"

"At three AM?" She cut him off impatiently.

"Megamind is a very dangerous criminal,"

"Sure he is," Sarcasm shouldn't feel like a palpable force but Roxanne had a special skill at making clear how unimpressed she was at having her night interrupted. 

"Ma'am..."

Roxanne hissed and swallowed back a number of words not fit for polite company, "Yes?"

"Please be on high alert. We believe he may make an attempt to kidnap you in an effort to defeat Metro Man soon,"

"Will he now?" She growled, "Won't that be a surprise."

"I can assure you ma'am we are doing everything we can to recapture him before he-"

"You mean you don't already have him back behind bars?" She asked sarcastically.

"...recovery efforts are ongoing."

"So that's a no..." Her hand clutched her pillow in frustration, "As a matter of fact I'm guessing you have no idea where he is at all do you?"

"We believe he's returned to the city."

Roxanne gasped, "Really. Here? The closest major metropolitan centre to the prison? How astonishingly astute of you"

"Ma'am..." Officer Thompson's voice was awkwardly resigned.

"I don't suppose you've ever considered not letting him escape in the first place?"

"Ma'am he's a criminal mastermind-"

"He's a primary coloured megalomaniac who wouldn't know subtly if it took a bite out of him! And he still somehow managed to slip right out of a maximum security prison clearly staffed by-" she cut herself off with aggravated noise.

"You're perfectly safe ma'am," He hastened to reassure her, "We'll have him back where he belongs shortly."

"Will you now?"

"He can't have gotten far. We can confirm he was still in his cell ninety minutes ago,"

"And this would be the what? Seventeenth escape this year?"

"...eighteenth ma'am." Came the awkward mumble.

"And how often have you managed to recapture him before he kidnaps me again?"

The embarrassed silence spoke volumes.

"That's what I thought."

Roxanne pressed back into her pillow and waited, the officer was still silent. "Is that it?" She demanded.

"Ma'am I am required to ask that if we can send some officers to your building in case he tries to kidnap you tonight."

"You mean the ones that clump up and down the hall all night keeping me and my neighbors awake? Hell no."

"Its for your own safety ma'am."

Roxanne took a deep breath and curled her toes into her sheets, "Tell me officer," her voice was saccharine as cyanide, "How often does Megamind commit crimes at night?"

"Well..."

"Has he ever challenged Metro Man after dark?"

"Not to my-"

"Would it be possible Mister Thompson, that he even now might be snug as a bug in a rug dreaming of giant robots and flamethrowers while you and I are having this scintillating conversation?"

"I...its possible ma'am," the voice winced then added in a lower tone, "Officer"

"Excuse me?"

"It's Officer Thompson,"

"I'm sure you're _very_ proud." 

"Ma'am its the policy to-"

Roxanne shoved a pillow over her face and gave a muffled scream, "Listen," She said with enough cutting politeness to make the phone line bleed, "I don't care what your policy is or who wrote it, but next time he escapes in the middle of the night how about you let me know _after_ seven AM? Sound good?"

"...I'm sorry for interrupting your night Ma'am,"

"You better be."

Roxanne hung up and flung the phone haphazardly off the bed where it bounced on a pile of discarded clothing, "Hiding behind the door when they handed out common sense, that one." She muttered irritably.

Green eye-shine reflected in the low light as a head lifted up from between her thighs, a long tongue licking wet lips clean, "I love it when you get sarcastic." 

"I like it when I'm not getting calls at three AM because you can't stay still for ten minutes" She retorted. 

"How inconsiderate of me," His teeth nipped at the soft curve of her hip and she arched back with a moan, "Positively criminal," she concurred.

"I'm impressed," Megamind's sharp smile was languid with satisfaction, "Usually it takes them at least two hours to notice I'm missing,"

Roxanne ran her nails over his skull and he pressed into her fingers with a purr, "Don't you have somewhere you're supposed to be?" she asked archly.

Cool hands stroked over her hips, "Apologies Temptress," he purred, "I hadn't meant for my escape to interrupt your evening," 

Roxanne pinched the tip of his ear in rebuke, he snapped lightly at her fingers and she pushed his head down again.

**Author's Note:**

> The urge to post this blind and hopefully not have the tags give the game away was stronger than I care to admit.
> 
> I also nearly called this Pitstop but I thought it would give the game away.


End file.
